Let's start with the question fathers often type into Google: how do fathers win custody cases in Australia?

There is no formula that guarantees an outcome.

But there is a fairly simple principle behind every parenting case.

The Court wants to know:

What parenting arrangements will be best for these children?

Under the Family Law Act 1975, the best interests of the child are the main consideration when the Court makes parenting orders.

Some of the things the Court considers include:

• the safety of the child, including any history of family violence or child abuse;
• any views expressed by the child, taking into account their age and circumstances;
• the child's emotional, psychological, developmental and cultural needs;
• each parent's ability to meet those needs; and
• the benefit to the child of having a relationship with both parents, where it is safe to do so.

There may also be particular issues that are specific to your particular family, which is why comparing your situation with your mates or with something you read on Facebook is rarely very helpful.

What does the Family Court want to see from fathers?

One of the most common things we see is a father who can tell us, in enormous detail, everything the mother has done wrong.

Sometimes those things are very important.

But then we ask: “Tell us about you as a father.”

And suddenly there isn't nearly as much detail.

Your parenting case cannot just be about the other parent.

The Court also needs to understand the relationship you have with your children and the role you have played in their lives.

• Who takes them to school?
• Who knows their teachers?
• Who attends medical appointments?
• Who organises sport?
• Who stays home when they're sick?
• Who helps with homework?
• What are their routines?
• Who are their friends?
• What happens at bedtime?
• What do your children need from you?

These ordinary details can be very important because they help show what your actual relationship with your children looks like.

If you have been an involved father, don't assume everyone will simply know that, you need to show it.

If, on the other hand, the other parent has historically done most of the day-to-day parenting, you need to be prepared to acknowledge that too. Think about what role you have played, what you can realistically take on now, and what needs to change if you are asking for significantly more time with your children.

The Court is not just looking at what you say you can do. It will also look at what has actually happened in your family and whether the arrangements you are asking for are realistic for your children.

Fathers' custody rights in Australia

Another common search is “fathers' custody rights in Australia”.

Australian family law does not start with the idea that a mother or father is automatically entitled to a particular amount of time with their children.

The focus is on the rights and best interests of the children.

So rather than asking:

“What am I entitled to as the father?”

a more useful question is:

“What parenting arrangements will be best for my children, and what evidence supports it?”

For example, saying:

“I want 50/50 custody.”

doesn't tell us very much.

What would 50/50 actually look like?

Would the children spend one week with each parent? Would that work with school? How far apart do the parents live? How old are the children? How will changeovers work? What happens with sport and other activities? How will school holidays and Christmas work?

The practical details matter.

The pathway to parenting orders in Australia

For most parents, going straight to Court is not the first step.

Usually, parents are required to attempt Family Dispute Resolution (FDR) before starting parenting proceedings.

FDR is a type of mediation. It gives both parents an opportunity to try to reach an agreement about the children without asking the Court to make the decision for them.

If you reach an agreement at FDR, you may decide to formalise that agreement by applying for consent orders.

If you cannot reach an agreement, the FDR practitioner may issue a section 60I certificate, which you will generally need if you then decide to start Court proceedings.

There are exceptions to the requirement to attend FDR, including in some cases involving urgency, family violence or child abuse.

If you are not sure whether FDR is appropriate for your situation, get advice before you start the process.

If an agreement cannot be reached and your parenting matter needs to go to Court, there are a number of documents that may need to be prepared.

Depending on your circumstances, these may include an Initiating Application, a section 60I certificate, a Notice of Child Abuse, Family Violence or Risk, a Genuine Steps Certificate, a Parenting Questionnaire and an affidavit.

If none of those words mean anything to you, that's okay.

You do not need to become a family lawyer.

What you do need to understand is that what goes into your Court documents matters.

They tell the Court what parenting orders you are asking for, why you say those orders are in your children's best interests, and what evidence supports your position.

This is one of the reasons we encourage fathers to get advice early, rather than trying to work everything out once Court proceedings are already underway.

What evidence can help a father's custody case?

You know what has happened in your family.

The Judge or Judicial Registrar doesn't.

The Court can only make decisions based on the information and evidence put before it.

That means that if something is important to your parenting case, you need to think about how you can show it.

Depending on the issues in your matter, useful evidence might include:

• text messages, emails and parenting-app messages;
• school records and emails with teachers;
• medical records and appointments;
• calendars or diary records;
• evidence from people who actually witnessed relevant events;
• police or child-protection records where there are safety issues; and
• family reports or other independent expert reports.

But don't fall into the trap of thinking more evidence is always better.

We have seen clients arrive with thousands of text messages, years of emails and hundreds of screenshots.

The question isn't:

“How much evidence do I have?”

The question is:

“How will this evidence help the Judicial Registrar decide to make the orders I want?”

Keep a simple parenting record

If your parenting arrangements are in dispute, it can be useful to keep a record of important events.

Keep it simple and factual.

For example:

12 March: Picked Jack up from school at 3:10pm. His teacher told me he had been upset during the day. Took him to his GP appointment at 4:30pm.

Compare that with:

12 March: The ex was hopeless again and clearly doesn't care about Jack.

The first tells us what happened.

The second tells us what you think about your ex.

There is a big difference.

Dates, events, appointments, messages and things you actually saw or heard are generally much more useful than pages describing how unreasonable you think the other parent is.

Show the Court what your parenting actually looks like

Parenting isn't just taking the children to the park on Saturday.

It's all the boring stuff as well.

• School lunches.
• Uniforms.
• Dentist appointments.
• Medication.
• Homework.
• Sick days.
• Sports training.
• Birthday parties.

Knowing that one child won't eat anything green and the other has to take their library bag on Wednesdays.

If you are asking for your children to live with you or spend substantial time with you, the Court needs to understand your ability to manage their everyday lives.

If you already do these things, tell your solicitor.

Don't assume they aren't important because they seem ordinary.

The ordinary things are parenting.

Have a parenting proposal that actually works

If you want the children to spend more time with you, think beyond the number of nights.

• What would the arrangement actually look like?
• Where will the children sleep on school nights?
• Who will take them to school?
• Where will changeovers happen?
• How will weekends work?
• What happens during school holidays?
• What happens at Christmas, birthdays and Father's Day?
• How will you communicate with the other parent?
• How will medical and school decisions be managed?
• If there are safety concerns, what arrangements could be put in place to deal with those concerns?

A parenting proposal needs to work for the children in real life.

It isn't simply about dividing their time equally between two adults.

Mistakes that can hurt a father's parenting case

Family separation is stressful.

You may be angry. You may feel that you are being treated unfairly. You may be resentful when your children have been kept from you.

But how you respond during that period matters.

Some of the common mistakes we see include:

• sending angry, abusive or threatening messages;
• having lengthy arguments by text;
• posting about the other parent or the Court case on social media;
• failing to follow existing parenting orders;
• involving the children in the dispute between the adults.

We often give clients one very simple piece of advice before they send a message to their former partner:

Read it again and imagine being asked to read it out loud in Court.

Would you still send it? If not, then do not sent it!

What if allegations have been made against you?

This can be particularly frightening for fathers.

If allegations of family violence, abuse or other safety concerns have been made against you, don't assume that the allegation itself decides your parenting case.

But don't ignore it either.

The Court takes allegations about the safety of children seriously.

Your first instinct may be to immediately defend yourself, send a long message explaining everything, or confront the person making the allegation.

Be careful.

An angry response can create a second problem on top of the first one.

Keep your communication calm and child-focused. Follow any existing Court orders. Keep proper records. And get advice about how the allegations should be dealt with.

If something isn't true, you want your response to be based on facts and evidence, not anger.

Should fathers get legal advice before applying for parenting orders?

You don't necessarily need to rush into Court.

But there is a difference between rushing into Court and getting legal advice early.

If you are searching “how do fathers win custody cases in Australia?”, getting advice early can help you understand what matters in your particular case, what could hurt your case, and what you should be doing now.

For example, you might agree to a parenting arrangement because you think it will only last a few weeks.

You might stop seeing your children because you don't want conflict.

You might send messages in anger.

You might agree to something because you think you have no choice.

Or you might spend months trying to negotiate when the situation actually needs a different approach.

Getting advice doesn't mean you have decided to start Court proceedings.

It means you know what your options are before you decide what to do.

How Full Circle Legal helps fathers

At Full Circle Legal, we work with fathers dealing with parenting and family law matters.

We know that by the time many fathers call us, they are frustrated, worried about their children and often completely confused about what they should do next.

Our job is to help you make sense of it.

We look at what is happening now, what parenting arrangements you want, what evidence you have, where the problems are, and what your realistic options are from here.

Sometimes that means negotiation.

Sometimes it means mediation.

Sometimes it means going to Court.

And sometimes the best advice is to not do something you were about to do.

The first step is understanding your position.

There is no trick to winning custody as a father in Australia.

And anyone who tells you they can guarantee what a Family Court will do should be treated with caution.

What you can do is put yourself in the best possible position.

• Be involved with your children.
• Keep sensible records.
• Follow parenting orders.
• Communicate carefully.
• Don't make the dispute with your former partner the centre of your parenting case.
• Protect your children from the dispute.
• Think about what arrangements will actually work for your children.
• And get advice before making decisions that may be difficult to undo.

If you're a father dealing with a parenting dispute and you're not sure what to do next, talk to Full Circle Legal about what is happening and what your options are.

A fair outcome starts with knowing where you stand.