There's this thing called Parental Alienation (PA) that's a serious issue but doesn't get talked about enough. Basically, PA is when one parent, often the one the child lives with most of the time, starts turning the child against the other parent for reasons that aren’t fair or true. From mind games that aim to make a child think less of the other parent, to outright malicious lying, Parental Alienation is a cruel strategy that can be hard to understand.

And while PA is equally experienced by mothers and fathers, at Full Circle Legal it’s the dad’s that we help. It's a tough situation to be in - fighting to be part of your child’s life while someone else is trying to push you out of the picture. PA isn’t just some legal term; it's a painful reality for many fathers. It can destroy the bond between a child and their father, and while it is bitterly painful for the parent, it causes serious psychological issues for the children, who will go on to have many issues, from emotional to psychological, that will show up for them throughout their lives. 

Let’s look at what PA is, how you can spot it, and why it's become a dirty word in the Family Court system. 

Ever heard of a child who suddenly turns cold and distant towards one of their parents for no logical reason? This can be the first sign of Parental Alienation (PA). In simple terms, PA happens when one parent, let's call them the 'alienating parent', bad-mouths or manipulates their child against the other parent – the one often fighting for time with their child.

Now, you might think, "Kids are smart; they can see through these tricks," but it's not always that simple. The alienating parent might be very subtle about it, using sneaky tactics like making the child feel guilty for wanting to spend time with the other parent, or exagerating or telling untrue stories to paint the other parent in a bad light. 

For dads, this can be a real nightmare. Imagine fighting to spend time with your child, only to find out they've been told outright lies about you. It's not just a case of 'he said, she said'; it's about a deep emotional game that's being played, and the one caught in the middle is your child.

In our experience at Full Circle Legal, we've seen how PA can turn a once loving relationship between a father and child into a strained and distant one. It's heartbreaking. And it's not just about missing out on a weekend here or there. It's about missing out on being a crucial part of each other's lives – something that every parent deserves, and every child needs.

So, let's talk about how you can spot Parental Alienation (PA). 

PA is not always obvious, especially at first. It's like putting together a puzzle where the pieces don't seem to fit until you take a good, hard look.

For the Alienating Parent:

• Subtle digs: They might make little negative comments about the other parent that add up over time.
• Excluding the other parent: Like 'accidentally' leaving the dad out of school events or not passing on important messages.
• Rewriting history: They might try to change how the child remembers past events, painting the dad in a bad light.
• Overplaying the victim card: Making the child feel like they have to protect them from the other parent.

For the Child:

• Sudden cold shoulder: If a child who was once close to their dad suddenly turns distant or hostile for no good reason, that's a red flag.
• Parroting the other parent: When children start using phrases, or sharing ideas that don't sound like their own, it’s often what they're hearing from the other parent.
• Unfounded accusations: The child might make serious accusations against their dad without any real basis.
• All good vs all bad: This is also known as ‘Black and White Thinking’. The child sees one parent as all good and the other as all bad. , which isn't how real life works.

These signs can be tricky to spot, especially because children's behaviours change from time to time for all sorts of reasons.

But if you're a dad and this list is ringing some bells, it might be time to take a closer look. The sad reality is that PA can be really damaging, not just now, but down the track in your childs life too. It’s about more than just missing out on time together; it's about the emotional wellbeing of your child.

Now, let's take a look at how Parental Alienation (PA) plays out in family court, especially here in Australia. 

In family court, PA often flies under the radar. While there's a growing understanding of it, it's still not universally recognized or straightforward to prove. This can be a real headache for dads. You might know in your gut that PA is happening, but when you try to bring it up in court, you probably won’t get far. It’s tough, because you’re not just fighting for time with your children; you’re fighting for your entire relationship with them, and it can feel like the court doesn’t fully grasp that.

One of the biggest hurdles is that PA is often subtle and psychological. It's not like showing up with a broken arm; it's about changes in behaviour and attitude that can be hard to pin down. And let's face it, children can be influenced easily, but proving that their thoughts and feelings are being manipulated by the other parent is a whole different ball game.

Then there's the impact on the kids themselves. The court's main goal is to look out for the best interests of the child, but when PA is involved, those interests can get murky. It's hard for a judge to figure out if a child’s negative feelings towards a parent are because of PA or for genuine reasons. This uncertainty can lead to decisions that do not address the underlying issues of PA, and may even make it worse. Recommended therapy with psychologists who are not aware of PA can entrench the child's behaviour, leaving the alienated parent in an even worse position. 

You really can feel like you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place.

At Full Circle Legal, we understand these challenges. That's why we take a very specific approach in family court, recognising the impact of PA on both the child and the alienated parent.

So, let’s shed some light on this issue, helping dads understand what you can do about it.

When we talk about Parental Alienation (PA), it's crucial to understand that it's not an issue of how much time the children spend with you – for the child, it's like someone's pulling the strings behind the scenes, shaping how they think and feel about their dad.

PA is a form of coercive control over a child. Think of coercive control like a puppeteer manipulating a puppet. In PA, the alienating parent is the puppeteer, and the child is the puppet. Through subtle hints, negative comments, and emotional manipulation, the alienating parent can control how the child views their other parent. This isn't just unfair; it's harmful. It can mess with a child's head, leading to confusion, anxiety, and torn loyalties.

What makes this especially tricky is that it's happening during a critical time in a child's development. Kids are supposed to be learning about trust, love, and healthy relationships. PA can warp these lessons, teaching them that manipulation and control are part of a normal relationship. That's a dangerous road, not just for their relationship with their dad, but for all their future relationships. Coercive control is a recognised form of family violence.

For fathers, understanding that PA is a form of coercive control is vital. It's not just about fighting to see your kid more; it's about fighting for their mental and emotional well-being. Recognizing PA for what it is can be the first step in addressing it, both in and out of the courtroom.

At Full Circle Legal, we see the impact of this kind of control all too often. It's heartbreaking, but it's also why we're dedicated to helping dads not just navigate the legalities of custody battles, but also understand the psychological warfare they might be up against.

We've covered a fair bit about Parental Alienation (PA) – from what it is, how to spot it, the controversies around it, its standing in family court, to understanding it as a form of coercive control. It's a complex issue, no doubt, and one that can leave dads feeling like they're running an uphill battle.

But here's the thing – it's a battle worth fighting. Not just for your right to be a part of your child’s life, but for their emotional and psychological health. Kids need a loving relationship with both parents, and PA can put a serious strain on that.

At Full Circle Legal, we help dads navigate these tough waters. We understand the challenges you're facing, and we're here to support you every step of the way.

And if you want to look for further information about this topic, we recommend th work done by the Eeny Meeney Miney Mo Foundation. 

Remember, recognizing PA and addressing it isn't just about the here and now; it's about protecting your child's future and ensuring they grow up with a balanced, healthy view of both their parents. So, if you're feeling overwhelmed or just not sure where to start, give us a shout. We're here to help.

If you're struggling with Parental Alienation or custody issues - we are here to help. Want to chat about your situation? Reach out to us at Full Circle Legal – we're ready to help you come full circle and rebuild those vital bonds with your children.