Looking after you is not an indulgence, it's a necessity

If you are a dad being going through the family court, this will be, hands down, the most challenging time of your life.

 
So often blokes bemoan that the system is geared to the mothers, or that it is unfairly rigged, but part of the reason it can appear that way is that is that women are notoriously better at implementing this particular strategy than men are.

 
Getting this right can have far-reaching implications for the results of your custody matter.
Be smart and put some serious thought into self-care.

Here are some tips that we think will help:
✅ GET FIT - You need a good physical routine to burn off the emotions that will flare throughout this process - get a gym membership, buy some running shoes, dust off the rowing machine, start swimming, boxing, anything. Sweating it out is the ultimate anti-depressant, anti-anxiety, anti-obsessive thoughts medication.

✅ GET A SHOULDER - You need to vent. A mate. A partner (if they are up to it). A parent. A sibling. Best of all would be professional therapist. Anyone except your ex or your children. Because if you don't have someone in your corner to hear your side, the danger is you will keep it all in and then explode at the exact wrong moment and to the exact wrong person.

 
✅ GET A PLAN - it may feel like everything is out of your control - but the simple act of writing it out as a plan will help you to feel like you have more of a handle on it.

 
✅ JOIN A GROUP - Not an ex-bashing, victim-mentality type of group - but a positive role model type of group. Others have been where you are now, and have success stories that you can learn from. This is another area women often have it all over guys. Be open to it and you will be surprised just what support and help is out there once you start looking.

 
✅ EAT WELL - You want to be a role model for your kids, so what is it going to look like when they finally come to dads (and they will!) and you are getting them McDonald's and Dominos for dinner every night? If you can't cook, learn. Get healthy for THEM. The side benefit is that you will feel a whole lot better too.

✅ TAKE SOME TIME OUT - Sometimes you just need a break from it all. Often guys report to us that their life has contracted to nothing more than working and thinking about their case. You need to do something nice for yourself. Get a massage, go to the beach, go for a hike. You don’t have to wait for a holiday - it doesn’t need to be big. Do something just for you - this week.

✅DITCH THE ALCOHOL - great for smothering difficult feelings, but not great for clear thinking. And that is what you need most right now. We all know the worst decisions are made when you have a skinful. Or when hungover. That short term relief can have long term results. The above strategies are all part of not having to rely on thing like alcohol to cope.
Also - you are better than that. And your kids deserve better too.

👉Self-care is not an indulgence - right now - it is a necessity. 👈

If you are not at your absolute best then you won't be making the absolute best decisions. And it’s a thousand tiny decisions made every step of the way that make the difference between getting the outcome you want - and becoming a sad statistic.