The Legal system, whilst it can be very frustrating and feel like it's moving at a snail's pace - if it is safe to do so, it will support getting you and your children back together.

The law is on your side here, so don't lose hope...!
 
But meanwhile - December 25 is rolling around and all your friends are whinging about stockings and elves on shelves and Santa suits - and you are feeling all the things. 

We'd like to share some strategies to help you manage this Christmas, and maintain hope for the future.

1. Seek Support

It's natural to feel a mix of sadness, loneliness, or even anger or frustration. But know that you are not alone. Many others have navigated this challenging experience.

Reach out to support groups for separated fathers, surround yourself with supportive family or friends, and if your emotions feel overwhelming - seek professional help - Call a counsellor - 1300 22 4636

Self support can be as simple as keeping a journal to express your thoughts and feelings. Don't knock it until you try it! This is where women often have a huge advantage - they often have a support network for sharing their emotions. Men are traditionally not as good at this - and they pay for it.
 
Be the exception and reach out - you will be surprised at how positive the whole experience can be. 

2. Build New Traditions

Look to the future when the present seems bleak. Make this an opportunity to create traditions that can be celebrated with or without your children. Whether it's a solo hike on Christmas morning, preparing a special meal for friends, or volunteering at a local charity, find activities that bring you joy and comfort. 

And this is a chance to create new traditions. Prepare for next year when you are with your children. Start some traditions that are different from the ones you shared when you were with their mother. Maybe it's a beach Christmas, or a creek Christmas or camping Christmas. These will be the 'Dad' traditions and in time they will become cherished memories for your children in future years. 

If you are a good dad, and your ex is depriving you of the children to get back at you, then you will prevail. Even without a lawyer - Australian law protects a child's right to have a relationship with their father if it is safe to do so. So you will get there.

3. Stay Connected in Creative Ways

Staying connected with your children, even when you won't be seeing them is important. Just because they are being withheld now does not mean that will always be the case,

Write a letter to your children about your plans and the activities you’re looking forward to sharing with them. Don't send it but save it for sharing with them at the right time.  

Plan on having a belated Christmas - no kid is going to argue against having a second Christmas later in the year! Purchase gifts and wrap them (keep them out of sight for now - there is no reason to rub salt in the wound).

Invite all your family and make it real. Set up a Christmas tree, hang stockings, and even plan a late-year visit from Santa to make the event festive and exciting, no matter the date on the calendar.

4. Self-Care 

Invest time in yourself. Never is this more important than now. Engage in activities that promote your well-being, such as exercise, reading, or pursuing a new hobby.

Reflect on your personal growth and the steps you're taking towards a positive future. Because if a legal battle is in your future - you need all the resilience you can get.

This is the chance to focus on self-improvement ensuring you're the best version of yourself for your children.

5. Remember: It's Just This Christmas 

While this Christmas is different, it doesn't define all your future holidays. This is just a chapter in your story, and with the right strategies - both legal and co-parenting - you will be able to enjoy future Christmasses surrounded by your children.

Now is the time to prepare and plan for this by taking care of yourself.